There are times I feel a sense of anxiety - foreboding. Then, usually something awful happens and I feel awful about the awful, but I also feel a sense of relief, like a rock has rolled off my chest. I can breathe easier once again.
Several years ago, this feeling descended upon me - it enveloped me while I was on vacation with Andrea.
I told her that I thought someone was going to die - I named the someone.
My mom called while we were on that trip to tell me someone had died. It wasn’t the someone I’d felt it would be, but still, the feeling lifted.
I once told a medium about this and they said I could work on fine tuning this intuition, but I didn’t because the only thing worse than being wrong about a feeling would be being right.
The election is looming and I hope my feeling isn’t attributable to that. The other night, while lying in bed, I asked Andrea, “What if they start rounding up gays and putting them in camps?”
Instead of saying that wouldn’t happen, Andrea offers a quick plan for our demise.
As I type the above, I realize it sounds irrational. Crazy. But is it? I’m afraid of the outcome of this election - not just for me or Andrea.
I’m sick of social media. Guess what: no one is going to change their vote because of what you think, no matter how compelling. Your meme isn’t going to do it either. And don’t even try to introduce facts.
I’m sick of emails and texts from every democrat in a tight race. And guess what? They are all tight. Too tight for my liking. I’ve done what I could - I’ve donated.
I’m sick of the news. Papers too chicken shit to put a stake in the ground and put their support behind a candidate. Will the media become state controlled? Is this what people want? People, or so I’ve read on social media, want low gas prices.
I’m sick of the heavy feeling that I’m carrying. I don’t know what to attribute it to, but it will subside, replaced by another, different, identifiable, heavy feeling.
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